Reinier and Miss KE
by Keith Kole
Summary: Short essay on a Watcher and his Slayer.


**REINIER AND MISS K. E.**

_The following paper was to have been presented by Mark Takiguchi at The Eighth Annual Edward de Vere Researches Conference: "Nothing Truer than Truth" in April 2004 at Concordia University in Portland, Oregon. As a Watcher candidate, he had access to surviving Council materials, including the journal in question. Unfortunately, Mr. Takiguchi died before he was able to present. His brother Robert attempted to deliver the paper, but did not proceed very far before grief overtook him – he broke down, leaving the podium. The complete paper is for the first time presented here in full, including all footnotes._

The Watcher's journal was one of the few items recovered nearly intact in the rubble of what was once the Watchers Council. With little evidence of singeing and only fair smoke damage the journal remained in surprisingly good condition. Strangely, only the back cover and last pages were missing. It is unknown if these pages contained any additional entries or if this damage was deliberate.

Most diaries only cover the period involving Slayer activity. This journal dated from the mid 1950s to the mid 1960s is remarkable in that a majority of the entries have nothing to do with the Slayer, the Council or Watcher duties. The narrative of the journal chronicles the life and fascinating adventures of this Watcher.1 While most Watcher diaries are kept in a fastidious and timely manner, it appears the entries to this journal were recorded in a slapdash manner written only on those rare evenings when he was not gambling at his club, wine tasting on his country estate or indulging in casual affairs with women in London or any number of locations on the continent. And the journal does not end with his Slayer's Passing.2

The Watcher in question is Ian Reinier, born in 1929. He is currently retired on his family estate. All attempts to contact Reinier for confirmation, clarification or comment were rebuffed by his granddaughter.

As a Watcher legacy, Reinier was unexceptional in his service to the Council. This surely would have disappointed his father, Jonathan Reinier (1874-1948), who achieved the distinction of instructing no less than six Slayers on three continents over the course of two centuries.3 His family lineage within the Council included the distinguished ranks of Bursar, Librarian and Master-at-Arms4.

In the spring of 1774, the great-great-great grandfather of Ian Reinier, Jean-Étienne François Renard, and _Maître d'Armes_,5 relocated to York, England to begin anew with his brother. Upon arrival Renard found his brother's home deserted, a wealth of money and treasure, evidence his brother conducted rogue monster hunts and a mass grave of human bones including those of children. Though nothing was proven, much has been speculated along the nature of a mass-murderer in the Renard family. Even with wealth and position and the adoption of the new palindromic name, the stigma remained attached to the family. To this day, no Reinier has been conferred with a title.6

Ian Reinier married in 1947 in defiance of his father.7 Following his father's death, he lived in Kenya for several years. It was there, in 1951, a son was born.8 In 1953 his wife took their child and returned to England. Reinier followed later that year. 1954 marked the beginning of his association with the Council as a Watcher.

Despite a lack of diligence toward his Council responsibilities, Ian Reinier, nonetheless, had a remarkable career confronting and defeating supernatural menaces to England in the 1950s: A spy ring employing golems and white tigers9, the Tong magician10, witches in Cornwall11, yetis in the Underground12, doppelgänger agents13 and television personalities wondrously returned from the dead.14 And causing much unspoken enmity, he even managed to expose a vampire plot within the Council itself.15

One of the more public of these stories, published in an article in the London Evening Standard, caught the attention of television producer Sidney Newman. The case of the supposedly deceased newsreader was nothing more than a stunt for publicity, but Newman found the mention of Ian Reinier, who exposed the fraud, intriguing. He sought out and befriended Reinier who obligingly regaled him with Scottish smoked salmon, Moët & Chandon, roasted duckling à l'orange, asparagus in hollandaise, peach Melba, Turkish coffee, Montecristo cigars,_ Cognac des caves particulières des Charentes_…and stories of the unbelievable.

A short time, later Reinier began training his Slayer. She was Called quite unexpectedly.

A bit of background, quoted with permission, from the research of Joshua Keim, on how a Slayer is Called:

"…new Slayers are not chosen by the Watchers Council.

"There are many more Potential Slayers than Watchers to train them. The Council does not pair Watchers to Potentials; rather they place Watchers in localities where Potentials are likely to arise. When a Potential is identified, the regional Watcher begins her training. If the Potential should become the next Slayer, her education intensifies with practical experience under the conscientious tutelage of her Watcher. It is not unheard of for a Slayer to Pass within days, sometimes hours16 after being Called. Word of a new Slayer may reach the Council sometimes weeks after the girl's unfortunate demise.

"What determines where the next Slayer will arise? An ineffable Essence of the Earth, known as the Quiescence,17 randomly chooses who will be changed from Potential to Slayer. The transformation usually occurs in circumstances where a Slayer is most needed, where demonic activity is, or is soon to be, high. Locations such as Buenos Aires, Kiev, Singapore, and San Francisco are prime points of expectation for Potentials to Slayers."

London, like Sighisoara and Sydney, is not. And it was London and the Home Counties that were assigned to the recalcitrant Ian Reinier.

By the 1960s, London was suffering from a singular lack of vampires. It seems independent vampire hunter Rev. Eric Manchester18 had eliminated any threat the previous decade. The Council thought it safe to place their unruly legacy in the heart of an area with little call for a Slayer. For some indefinable reason, the Planet did not agree.

Reinier chose to keep the identity of his Slayer anonymous in his journals and identified her only as "Miss K. E."19 His journals reveal a great affection for Miss K. E. Normally a Watcher's fondness for his Slayer could be quite a detriment and compromise the discipline of the teacher/student relationship, but Reinier's idea of training consisted of the appreciation of champagne, fine art, haute couture20 and small talk.

Fortunately, Miss K. E. was already something of a prodigy. The Calling merely enhanced her innate skills in the disciplines of Karate and Judo. She was an Olympic level fencer and marksman. Possessing a remarkable mind, she was equally comfortable discussing thermodynamics or anthropology. Her highly developed sense of humour was very often conveyed with an infectious laugh. And, although specific details are lacking, it is clear from Reinier's descriptions of her encounters with the opposite sex, she was also quite the looker.

Miss K. E. was a skilled fighter with nothing to fight. No vampires were to be found in London or surrounding counties. No reported demon attacks occurred during this time. No monsters were seen anywhere except the cinema, and those rarely attacked the British patronage21. With no supernatural menace to slay, she ultimately became embroiled in a number of Reinier's sordid activities.

Journal entries began to sound like adventure stories of a lady spy and her urbane government handler rather than that of a Slayer and her Watcher:

In a plot to corrupt both British and Russian agents, Miss K. E. infiltrated a clandestine organization as a Russian operative. Reinier ran a counter-intelligence scheme designed to ensnare the key plotters using their own cover as gentlemen's haberdashers. He successfully extracted Miss K. E. and recovered key British naval documents.

Several victims, including Reinier, were kidnapped from a New Year's Eve party and removed to a remote village. Miss K. E. managed to track and rescue him, but not before some of the party guests were forced to play life and death games for their captor – a mad entrepreneur with dreams of creating a society of _über_-men from the survivors.

Beginning with an award for the preparation of a five-course meal, a former boyfriend designed a complex gauntlet of psychological torture for Miss K. E. Included in his plan was the false report of the death of her matronly aunt, the murder of a car mechanic and the ministrations of a cruel dentist. Reinier uncovered the involvement of the deranged lover.

In order to manipulate British stocks, a foreign national employed the services of a Great Dane breeder, a gentleman's gentleman and a kindly country doctor. Miss K. E.'s acquaintance with the breeder's daughter afforded Reinier the opportunity to end the fraud and acquire a household pet.

After several more of these escapades, a rare event occurred: the Slayer's skills and prowess began to diminish. Feeling her abilities fading while golfing in the rain she credited the weakness to the coming of a cold. Weeks later, her equestrian activities began to lose their panache and ease, though her bond with her horse remained intact. Soon after, Miss K. E. suffered an horrendous loss of dexterity and strength – unfortunately this transpired while wrestling with a revolver and a saboteur. Though not fatal, the incident was cause for great concern.

Investigation in the Council stacks22 revealed the origin of her weakness. Due to the lack of demonic activity the Quiescence passed her over and activated the next Slayer. Council members are encouraged not to reveal that such circumstances could transpire. Rare, though not unheard of, Miss K. E. retired as a Slayer.

Reinier officially retired from the Watchers Council shortly thereafter. Here the journals appear to end.

The Wyndham-Pryce Watcher diaries provide additional perspective:

"…Reinier's claim is entirely absurd. His pretense becomes transparent as he hides the identity of his "Slayer" behind the curtain of anonymity. There never was a Slayer in his charge…His diary is nothing more than a fiction.

"I strongly suspect Reinier based his supposed "Miss K. E." on the Great Britain Olympic Fencing Team alternate Keen Errant. Her father, Sir Kenneth, a steadfast friend of the Council, touted his daughter, "Clever Peach", as a paragon of artfulness and wisdom second only to Pallas Athena. As far as I know, Miss Errant never appeared on the rolls of Potentials. The argument that no known Slayer revealed herself during this period is fallacious.

"…his association with that television producer culminated in the vainglorious fairy tale fobbed off on the British viewing public…with Reinier imagining himself, instead of the moribund peacock that he is, as the Etonian and sophisticated John Steed."

However, and this is the subject of another essay, the Wyndham-Pryce diaries were found in the belongings of a cyborg double.

© 2005 Keith Kole

1 This may explain why the journal was not catalogued in the main Council Archives.

2 'Passing' is a Council euphemism for death. Its etymology has less to do with passing away than it does with passing over the duty of slaying vampires and demons to the next Chosen One.

3 It is still rare today for a Watcher to be fortunate enough to train two Slayers in a lifetime of service.

4 No Reinier achieved the ultimate honor of Chairman.

5 It should be remembered during the years 1648 through 1848, _Le Consiel de Vigilance_ was based out of France in the Montmartre region of Paris. For more on this period, see the excellent article, "The French Council and the Kingdoms of Europe" by Eugene Gurney.

6 It could be plausibly argued that membership in a secret society of monster chasers might exclude the possibility of knighthood; such is not the case. It is known that at least seven Prime Ministers owe their positions to Council manipulations. Many Council Chairmen have been rewarded by the monarchy with land and title. Documents suggest the Patron of the Watchers Council to be the Queen of England.

7 It is undetermined if his bride was in fact a Potential his father was to train.

8 This is the notorious anarchy-mage Ethan Rayne.

9 Details are to be found in "Tyger, Tyger" by the London-residing Eastern mystic Rabbi K'anpo Cho-je.

10 See "Doctor Files: Vol. XIV" by L.P. Parkin.

11 In this case, "exposed" and "uncovered", cited from the corresponding passage of Reinier's journal, should be taken as double entendres.

12 See "Doctor Files: Vol. V" by L.P. Parkin.

13 "Spies or Aliens" is a fascinating piece of pseudo-journalism penned by Roger Charlton. Although much is wild speculation, many of the unfounded accusations have, in time, proven to be correct. Charlton currently leads a quiet life in rural England, but many suspect his retirement was, in fact, to conceal that a government imposter had replaced him and the actual Charlton was secreted aboard a departing flying saucer.

14 See London Evening Standard, December 13, 1959, page 3, "Julie Smith Alive!" by Dr. David King.

15 Even before destruction of the Council Library, records of this 1954 case had been sealed. Reinier's journals make mention of his frustration in attempting to locate his missing billfold in connection to these circumstances. Although principal in aiding to expose the vampire threat, materials pertaining to his work became nonexistent – as did his billfold.

16 In one tragic instance, in Denmark, a young lady was Called just prior to Der Kindestod snatching away her life.

17 This is a shortened form of "Quiescent Imago" roughly translated as "latency prior to final transformation."

18 The Right Honourable Reverend Sir Eric Manchester will be the subject of my upcoming dissertation, "Telling Tales," detailing his rise from church sexton to vampire hunter to serial killer.

19 There are those who have inferred the letters "K. E." refer not to the initials of the Slayer's name, but to an abbreviation of some salacious innuendo.

20 To Reinier's amusement, Miss K. E. insisted on wearing trousers. Sometimes she wore mod caps, frequently dressed in kinky leather and sported the occasional gaudy one-piece bodysuit. Bizarrely, he felt this coordinated with his own variety of sartorial splendour.

21 Though it may sound like a joke, on three occasions in the past, demons had possessed fictitious characters from the silver screen. Interestingly enough, rather than take on the persona of a powerful creature such as Frankenstein's monster, these demons chose instead to possess the characters of a stage ingénue, a mild-mannered reporter and a cartoon mouse. Each demon passed the remainder of their days without further incident.

22 The Council Librarian, stunned by the appearance of Reinier conducting research in his role as Watcher, sardonically stated, "If Ian Reinier is here for study, surely, then, the Earth is doomed."


End file.
